I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
