i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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