I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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