I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
