my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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