i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
