People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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