Where did you get a picture of my penis
my sisters under your porch take her home
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
