she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
