How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
