And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
