he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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