Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I will be naked everywhere
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
