Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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