my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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