i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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