If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
