you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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