Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
