shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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