I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She's JV to your varsity
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
