you turned your livingroom into a bong?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
whose parrot is this?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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