i don't like sucking hair
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
it's like heaven, but drunker
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
