so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
time to smoke my breakfast
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
