Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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