The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
