He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize