I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
