barbara walters just said penis...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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