the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize