If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
