The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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