Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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