dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
