bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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