I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
