I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize