I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
