Just fell off a train. Bad.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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