yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
