Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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