He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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