My first STD was from a foam party
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
