So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize