I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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