Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
