how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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