im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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