I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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