For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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