so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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