i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
