And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
