apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
