clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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