I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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