drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
sex in a hospital.. check
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
