it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
