idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
the liver wants what the liver wants
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
