i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
