I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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